These Words Make People NOT Want To Work With You

Do not say this.

Certain words make us look weak.

Some phrases make people not want to work with you.

Subconsciously, we warn people not to spend money with us.

These words and phrases act like client repellant, and they can put you in the “business friend zone”, where you’re working hard to get people to become clients, seemingly doing all the right things -- but for whatever reason, people just aren’t signing up. 

The cool thing is once you know what these words are… you’ll start to notice them everywhere, in your content, in your videos, on your website, and in your landing pages… and you’ll be able to immediately fix it, and bring your brand in line with who you are.

You’re probably a genuine person, right? So let’s make sure that the world can see that.

Let’s run through the biggest offenders that make people not want to spend money with us. And what to do instead.

Before I knew this, I tried so many things to get clients.

I was completely unaware that there were simple giveaways that people were picking up on that made me NOT look like the best option for them.

Once I realized what I was doing, not only was it easier to get high-paying clients, but it changed my thinking. I got better paying clients because I was better quality. Seems simple, and it is -- but it’s not easy. And that’s what makes this so exciting because most people are happy being average. This means you can really stand out. 

What we say is a snapshot of how we think. 

So when we say things that giveaway our averageness -- high quality clients can see that, and choose to take their business elsewhere.

I’m not suggesting you be someone you’re not -- but I am suggesting that you level up your copywriting skills because it’s probably the single most useful skill as a business owner in 2024.

EVERY successful business owner can simplify ideas and communicate effectively. Most can write killer copy too.

By no means exhaustive, here are the main offenders you can start cutting today.

Don’t use phrases that make you look weak.

You want to be a strong leader. Avoid these weak phrases and watch how differently people treat you:

• I'm sorry // Strong, confident people are willing to admit when they are wrong, or when an apology is in order. Weaker people use the words "I'm sorry" when they have feelings of inferiority. Rarely is that sentence true, needed, or useful.

• I hate to bother you // If you plan to bother someone, be confident. Or don’t bother them.

• I'm worried // Who cares? Rarely do your worries matter to other people. Save your concerns for your therapist or friends.

• I'll do it // Stop doing shit for people if it’s not in line with your priorities.

• I just… // Or any other filler line. Silence is better than filler. It makes all your other words carry more value.

• I believe/think/feel that… // again, this is just filler, but this filler dilutes your meaning. 

• BONUS If you are the kind of person who struggles with this stuff, you’re probably doing it everywhere, with everyone. So here’s a tip I get my clients to do if they are affected: go to the Chrome Web store and install an app called Just Not Sorry. It’s a Chrome extension that warns you when you write emails using words that undermine and make you look weak.

Don’t fire hose people.

People usually only have space for one or 2 additional things to think about. If you try to give them 3, or 7 then you are too difficult. You are making their life harder, not easier.

Clients pay big bucks to work with people who make their lives easy. The way you speak gives you away. Whether in your content or in-person, you’re pushing prospects away if you have more than 2 ideas going at a time.

Don’t be vague.

Don’t say “I help people get the life they want and the future they deserve” when what you really want to say is “My clients lose body fat fast”.

Clarity is incredibly expensive. Being easy to understand is valuable. People pay to be around others who help them understand things more clearly. So don’t be vague.

Don’t puff up.

Don’t say ‘we’ when you mean ‘I’. People already know you have a small business and guess what? They don’t care.

Don’t drop an obvious lie. Then people can’t trust you.

Every like and comment on these videos over on YouTube makes my day.

Don’t use persuasion gimmicks.

In fact, any gimmick will usually make you look silly. And quality people don’t put their money into silly. For example, saying “We currently have a waitlist to work with us” is 2 gimmicks. Firstly no one believes you have a waitlist, and 2nd you used we instead of I. It’s a dead giveaway that you’re not confident in yourself.

Quality people don’t work with people who aren’t confident in themselves.

Don’t welcome people.

This goes for your website, landing page, newsletter, or social profile. You’re disrespecting people's time and energy. Cut to the chase and tell them ASAP why they should keep reading.

Don’t be clever.

You’re not well known, you’re not a comedian (or maybe you are, disregard this then) - you haven’t earned the space in people's minds to force people to think twice about what you’re saying. Just say what you mean.

• Clever headlines don’t convert well, so if you’re only getting 20 views, make those 20 count!

• Clever CTA’s perform terribly. Clever usually only works when you’re huge like Apple, or Coke.

Clarity is more important than being clever.

Don’t fancy up your language.

If you know your market, then talk to them like they are one person right next to you.

Every big word you use instead of a simple one is another person who just stopped listening. 

Don’t discount.

It makes you look weak, and it makes your services less valuable. The only way to discount things is to make it conditional. When it’s conditional, the buyer understands why it’s discounted, and it doesn’t affect their perceived value.

In fact, it adds to the win-win nature of the transaction, making it even more fun.

Don’t bother people in DM’s.

This one makes you look weak. And it positions you with the wrong kinds of prospects because ideal clients don’t usually mess around with people who pester them in their DM’s.

I’ve spoken about this ad nauseam, so yeah, just don’t do it.

Now here are some things to do instead.

Holding attention when speaking…

When talking in person you don’t need to be dominant, but you do want to ensure that you aren’t viewed as unimportant. The simplest way to do this is not to rush to speak. Just wait. See, when you rush to speak, not only do you increase the chance that you’ll trip over your words or cut people off, but you’ll often find someone talking over you or louder than you at the same time. This kills the vibe, the meaning, the nuance. But if you just wait for a clear break in the conversation, the stage can be all yours, and you’ll have everyone's full attention. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re being talked over, all you need to do is stop, and graciously signal for the other person to continue. 

Lead with “you”…

No one likes people who talk about themselves a lot. However, everyone loves to talk about themselves. So, whether in website copy, video content, or in person, keep them front of the conversation, and keep yourself at the back of the line.

Simplify…

Run everything through HemingwayApp.com for a few weeks and recalibrate your brain as to just how simple you want to make things. We all overcomplicate, and this leads people to think that working with us will be complicated. Big no-no.

Kill your darlings…

This is something I learned from the genius who is Stephen King. Learning to kill your darlings is the idea that we hold on to phrases, pieces of writing, etc that we personally like or love -- but that don’t serve the reader. In writing, this is a ruthless sword to edit with.

When speaking, these are ideas that require too much education for them to be quickly useful to the listener. So if you find yourself explaining something over and over to people, that could be a darling you need to kill.

Specific brevity…

Be specific with your Calls To Action. Don’t be vague. Be specific. Be brief. 

Lead the way on a “need to know” basis…

Give people the one SINGLE next step. Don’t say “Click here to find a time book a call to learn more about working together and what it will look like. Instead, just say To learn more Click here.

Steal…

Finally, steal your customer's words. They know what they want and need better than you. When you hear them talking about products, ideas, and themes, and you realise your language is different or more complicated than theirs… don’t be stubborn.

'Use their language and you’ll remove barriers to communication. 

Business can be tricky enough without making these unforced errors.

Stopping saying these words and these bad habits will allow you to remain in contention. People are more likely to listen when you speak. To read your writing. To take action when you ask them to. 

More people will want to become clients -- more often.

You don’t need tricks and hacky marketing. 

You just want people to take you seriously enough to see what you’re offering and let the value of your offers speak for themselves. 

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Cheers,
Pat Sgro

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